driving in Montreal

[FIKS]

Montrealers - can you relate? Non-Montrealers - these are real!

Subject: Basic Rules for Driving a car in Montreal (some of them can apply to motorcycles)

1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real Montreal driver
never
uses them.

2. Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you
and
the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by somebody
else
putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

3. Crossing two or more lanes in a single lane-change is considered
going
with the flow.

4. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you
have
of getting hit.

5. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it
and
it will inevitably result in you being rear ended. If you want
your insurance company to pay for a new rear bumper, come to a complete
stop
at all stop signs.

6. A right lane construction closure is just a game to see how many
people
can cut in line by passing you on the right as you sit in the
left lane waiting or the same jerks to squeeze their way back in before
hitting the orange construction barrels.

7. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork.
Quebec is a no-fault insurance province and the other guy doesn't
have anything to lose.

8. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that
your
ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal
pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your
legs

9. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a
good way to scare people entering the highway.

10. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as suggestions
and are apparently not enforceable in the Montreal area during rush
hour.

11. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed
up or move over doesn't mean that a Montreal driver flashing his high
beams
behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.

12. Please remember that there is no such thing as a shortcut during
rush-hour traffic in Montreal.

13. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even
someone
changing a tire.

14. Learn to swerve abruptly. Montreal is the home of high-speed slalom
driving thanks to the SAAQ, which puts potholes in key locations to
test drivers' reflexes and keep them on their toes.

15. It is traditional in Montreal to honk your horn at cars that don't
move
the instant the light changes.

16. Never take a green light at face value. Always look right and left
before proceeding.

17. Remember that the goal of every Montreal driver is to get there
first,
by whatever means necessary.

18. Real Montreal women drivers can put on pantyhose and apply eye
makeup at
seventy-five miles per hour in bumper-to-bumper traffic.

19. Real Montreal men drivers can remove their girlfriend's panties and
bra
at seventy-five miles per hour or in bumper-to-bumper traffic.

20. In the Montreal area flipping someone the bird is considered a
Quebec
salute. This gesture should always be returned.

[Achro]

C'est un extrait du dernier code de conduite du Québec !

[backseatrider]

thats so funny

[roabs]

thats funny stuff

[Dedmann]

trop drole mais vrai en ta....

[Babygirl]

On reconnais les conducteurs montrealais n'importe ou....

[jeepee]

[Bergy]

Ben crampé ...

[Angel In The Sky]

All but # 1 do I agree with you....
pretty good... you should see what else I can do going 75 mph on the highway
:P

[ZeGoblynz!?]

sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo real!!!