The Sensitive Guy

[RdKetchup]

It is important for men to remember, that as women grow older it becomes
harder for them to maintain t he same quality of housekeeping as when they
were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are
oversensitive and there ain't nothing worse then an oversensitive woman.

My name is Doug .... Let me relate how I handled the situation with my
wife, Ernestine.

When I was laid off from my consulting job and took "early retirement"
in April, it became necessary for Ernestine to get a full-time job, both
for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed.

Shortly after she started working I noticed she was beginning to show her age.
I usually get home from the Golf Course about the same time she gets home
from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she
has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell
at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets
dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club
so eating out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home cooked grub when
I hit that door...

She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now, it's not
unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do
what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that
they won't clean themselves. I know she appreciates this, as it does seem
to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.

I really think my old business as a consultant helps a lot. I consider
telling people what they ought to do one of my strong points...

And speaking of bed, her age really shows up there. I go out and golf all
day, come in dead tired and after a two hour nap and a good meal, I'm ready,
if you know what I mean. Age has gotten her so bad that she actually dozes
off during lovemaking. But that's okay. Her satisfaction in that area is
important to a sensitive guy like me and if she enjoys sleeping during our
little trysts, what the hey...

Now that she has gotten older, she does seem to get tired so much more
quickly. Our washer and dryer are in the basement. Sometimes she says she
just can't make another trip down those steps. I don't make a big issue
of this; as she finishes up the laundry the next evening, I'm willing to
overlook it.

Not only that, but unless I need something ironed to wear to the Monday
lodge meeting, or to Wednesday's or Saturday's poker club, or to Tuesday's
or Thursday's bowling, or something like that, I will tell her to wait until
the next evening to do the ironing. This gives her a little more time to do
some of those odds and ends like shampooing the dog, vacuuming or dusting...

Also, if I had a really good day on the course and it was wet and muddy my
clubs are a mess, so I let her clean them, you know..... get the grit off
the grips and a little light Brillo on the club faces at a casual pace. My
golf bag is heavy so I lift it out of the trunk for her. Women are delicate
, have weak wrists and can't lift heavy stuff as good as men. But I did
tell her I don't like to be wakened during my after golf nap, so rather
then bother me, she can put them back in the trunk when she's finished.

Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example, she will
say that it is difficult for her to find t ime to pay the monthly bills
during her lunch hour. But boys, we take em for better or worse, so I just
smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or
even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind
her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if
you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points.

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods.
She had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard. I
try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice,
big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while.
And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for
me too, then take her break by my hammock. That way she can talk with me
until I fall asleep.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Ernestine.
I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will
find it difficult. Some will find it impossible. Nobody knows better than
I do, how frustrating women get as they get older.

However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of
your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was
well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other...

EDITOR'S NOTE: Doug died suddenly Thursday, January 3. He was found with
a Calloway extra long 50 inch Big Bertha Driver rammed up his rectum with
only 2 inches of grip showing. His wife Ernestine was arrested, but the
Grand Jury accepted her defence that he accidentally sat on it and she was
released on Friday, January 4th.