42 RULES WOMEN SHOULD KNOW

KneeDragger · 31/01/2006, 14h49

42 RULES WOMEN SHOULD KNOW

(I didn't write 'em, so don't kill me. Some of them are quite good)

1. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Do not ask us. We refuse to answer

2. Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down.

3. Do not cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive
than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is
that married women always cut their hair, and by then, you are stuck with her.

4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not
quests to see if we can
find the perfect present yet again!

5. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to;
expect an answer you
do not want to hear.

6. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with
it.

7. Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you
are prepared to
discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun
formation and monster
trucks.

8. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the
changing of the tides.
Let it be.

9. Shopping is not a sport, and no, we are never going
to think of it that
way.

10. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything
you wear is fine.
Really.

11. You have enough clothes.

12. You have too many shoes.

13. Crying is blackmail.

14. Your ex-boyfriend is an idiot.

15. No, we do not know what day it is. We never will.
Mark anniversaries on
a calendar.

16. Yes, peeing standing up is more difficult. We are
bound to miss
sometimes.

17. What the hell is a doily?

18. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - what makes
you think we'd be any
good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look
good with your
dress?

19. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to
almost every question.

20. Come to us with a problem only if you want help
solving it. That is
what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

21. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
See a doctor.

22. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.

23. Do not fake it. We would rather be ineffective
than deceived.

24. It is neither in your best interest nor ours to
take the quiz together.

25. No, it does not matter which quiz.

26. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in
an argument. All
comments become null and void after 7 days.

27. If something we said can be interpreted two ways,
and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

28. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it is
genetic.

29. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us
how you want it done -
not both.

30. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to
say during
commercials.

31. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and
neither do we.

32. Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose
their right to
complain about having their boobs stared at.

33. Women should wear Wonderbras and low-cut blouses.
We like staring at
boobs.

34. The relationship is never going to be like it was
the first two months
we were going out.

35. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Safe-Mode
Windows settings. Peach
is a fruit, not a color.

36. Pumpkin is also a fruit.

37. If it itches, it will be scratched.

38. Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for
you.

39. If it is OUR house, I do not understand why MY
stuff gets thrown in the
closet/attic/basement.

40. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our
lack of mind-reading
ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

41. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we
will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just
not worth the
hassle.

42. If we hear from an old girlfriend, we will briefly
fantasize about
having sex with her. But do not worry; the fantasy
includes you AND her -
together.

Dragon Vert · 31/01/2006, 15h02

The first two are the best !

1. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Do not ask us. We refuse to answer

2. Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down.

**chip7** · 31/01/2006, 15h57

41 and 42 are the best !!

daymz · 31/01/2006, 23h32

Très bon !!!

Citation:

40. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

41. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

J'adore !

KneeDragger · 05/11/2008, 20h45

To the top... un classique pour moi!

31/01/2006, 14h49	#1 (permalink)
KneeDragger 12 O'clock Date d'inscription: novembre 2004 Localisation: Home is where the heart is... Messages: 6 411 Pouvoir de réputation: 12 Reputation: 276 Moto: A sweet ass track mistress!!!	42 RULES WOMEN SHOULD KNOW 42 RULES WOMEN SHOULD KNOW (I didn't write 'em, so don't kill me. Some of them are quite good) 1. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Do not ask us. We refuse to answer 2. Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down. 3. Do not cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then, you are stuck with her. 4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again! 5. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to; expect an answer you do not want to hear. 6. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it. 7. Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks. 8. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 9. Shopping is not a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way. 10. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really. 11. You have enough clothes. 12. You have too many shoes. 13. Crying is blackmail. 14. Your ex-boyfriend is an idiot. 15. No, we do not know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar. 16. Yes, peeing standing up is more difficult. We are bound to miss sometimes. 17. What the hell is a doily? 18. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - what makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress? 19. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 20. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That is what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 21. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. 22. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. 23. Do not fake it. We would rather be ineffective than deceived. 24. It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together. 25. No, it does not matter which quiz. 26. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days. 27. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. 28. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it is genetic. 29. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done - not both. 30. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 31. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we. 32. Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at. 33. Women should wear Wonderbras and low-cut blouses. We like staring at boobs. 34. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. 35. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Safe-Mode Windows settings. Peach is a fruit, not a color. 36. Pumpkin is also a fruit. 37. If it itches, it will be scratched. 38. Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you. 39. If it is OUR house, I do not understand why MY stuff gets thrown in the closet/attic/basement. 40. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you. 41. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 42. If we hear from an old girlfriend, we will briefly fantasize about having sex with her. But do not worry; the fantasy includes you AND her - together. __________________ Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost Keep the Rubber Side Down! AM #210

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31/01/2006, 15h02	#2 (permalink)
Dragon Vert World champion Date d'inscription: septembre 2003 Localisation: Ste-Julie (by the beach) Messages: 1 088 Pouvoir de réputation: 8 Reputation: 18 Moto: CBR600 F4i	The first two are the best ! 1. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Do not ask us. We refuse to answer 2. Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down.

31/01/2006, 15h57	#3 (permalink)
chip7 Moderateur Date d'inscription: mars 2004 Localisation: Montreal-by-the-beach Messages: 8 209 Pouvoir de réputation: 15 Reputation: 462 Moto: ZX-9r, édition tie-wraps!	41 and 42 are the best !!

05/11/2008, 20h45	#5 (permalink)
KneeDragger 12 O'clock Date d'inscription: novembre 2004 Localisation: Home is where the heart is... Messages: 6 411 Pouvoir de réputation: 12 Reputation: 276 Moto: A sweet ass track mistress!!!	To the top... un classique pour moi!