Snake encounter

[RdKetchup]

ACTION UPON ENCOUNTERING A SNAKE - The Differential Theory:-

1. Infantry: Snake smells them, leaves area.

2. Airborne: Lands on and kills the snake.

3. Armour: Runs over snake, laughs, and looks for more snakes.

4. Aviation: Has Global Positioning Satellite co-ordinates to snake.
Can't find snake. returns to base for refuel, crew rest and manicure.

5. Commando: Plays with snake, then eats it.

6. Field Artillery: Kills snake with massive Time-On-Target barrage
with three regiments in support. Kills several hundred civilians as
unavoidable collateral damage. Mission is considered a success and all
participants (i.e., cooks, mechanics and clerks) are awarded service
medals.

7. Special Forces: Makes contact with snake, ignores all Department
of Foreign Affairs directives and Theatre Commander Rules of Engagement
by building rapport with snake and winning its heart and mind. Trains
it to kill other snakes. Files enormous travel settlement upon return.

8. Combat Engineer: Studies snake. Prepares in-depth doctrinal
thesis in obscure 5 series Field Manual about how to defeat snake using
counter mobility assets. Complains that manoeuvre forces don't
understand how to properly conduct doctrinal counter-snake ops.

9. Navy Landing Party: Expends all ammunition and calls for naval
gunfire support in failed attempt to kill snake. Snake bites sailors
and retreats to safety. Hollywood makes fantasy film in which US Navy
SEALS kill religious extremist snakes.

10. Navy: Fires missiles from various types of ships, kills snake and
makes presentation to Senate Appropriations Committee on how Naval
forces are the most cost-effective means of anti-snake force
projection.

11. SASR: Kills snake by accident while looking for souvenirs. Local
civilians demand removal of all Australian Defence Force from Area of
Operations.

12. Cavalry: Follows snake, gets lost, buys sunglasses.

13. Air Battle Controllers: Guides snake elsewhere.

14. Combat Medics: Wounds snake in initial encounter, then works
feverishly to save snake's life.

15. Ordnance: (NOTICE: Your anti-snake equipment is on backorder.)

16. Transport pilot: Receives call for anti-snake equipment, delivers
two weeks after due date.

17. Macchi pilot: Misidentifies snake as enemy Mil-24 Hind helicopter
and engages with missiles. Crew chief paints snake kill on aircraft.

18. F/A-18 pilot: Finds snake, drops two CBU-87 cluster bombs, and
misses snake target, but get direct hit on Chinese Embassy 100 Km East
of snake due to weather (Too Hot also Too Cold, Was Clear but too
overcast, Too dry with Rain, Unlimited ceiling with low cloud cover
etc.) Claims that purchasing multimillion dollar, high-tech snake-killing
device will enable it in the future to kill all snakes and achieve a
revolution in military affairs.

19. AH-64 Apache pilot: Unable to locate snake, snakes don't show
well on infra-red. Infra-red only operable in desert Areas of
Operations without power lines or SAMs.

20. UH-60 Blackhawk pilot: Finds snake on fourth pass after snake
builds bonfire, pops smoke, lays out VS 17 to mark Landing Zone. Rotor
wash blows snake into fire.

21. F-111 pilot: Pulls ARCLIGHT mission on snake, kills snake and
every other living thing within two miles of target.

22. Medium gun crew: Lays in target co-ordinates to snake in 20
seconds, but can't receive authorization from Melbourne Air Traffic
Control to use high-trajectory weapons.

23. Intelligence officer: Snake? What snake? Only four of 35
indicators of snake activity are currently active. We assess the
potential for snake activity as LOW.

24. Legal Corps: Snake declines to bite, citing grounds of
professional courtesy.

25. Construction Engineers: Build pub, gut and stuff snake, mount
over bar, name pub "The Snakepit".

26. Petroleum Handlers: Catch snake, introduce free snake with every
full tank promotion.

27. Military Police: Wait for somebody else to capture snake, beat up
snake, deny responsibility.

[chip7]

we need to protect ourself from these snakes that don't like our liberty and freedom!!

[dezed]

le nu 7..je l'aime bien

[Vspec]

Trop fort!!!!