You know you're from Montreal when........

[chicaxoxo]

You pronounce it "Muntreal", not "Mahntreal".

You have ever said anything like "I have to stop at the guichet before we get to the dep.

You can watch soft-core porn on broadcast TV, and this has been true for at least 25 years.

You show up at a party at 11 p.m. and no one else is there yet.

You have yet to understand a single announcement made on the Metro PA system, no matter what the language.

You understand and frequently use terms like "unilingual", "anglophone", ''francophone" and "allophone".

You agree that Montreal drivers are crazy, but you're secretly proud of their nerves of steel.

You have to bring smoked meat from Schwartz's and bagels from St-Viateur if you're visiting anyone west of Cornwall.

You refer to Tremblant as "up North."

You know how to properly pronounce Pie IX.

You have an ancient aunt who still says Saint Dennis and Dorchester.

You believe to the depth of your very being that Toronto has no soul, but your high school reunion is held in Toronto because most of your classmates live there now.

You greet everyone, from lifelong buddies to near strangers, with a
two-cheek kiss.

You know at least one person who used to work for Nortel.

You're unimpressed by hardwood floors, high ceilings and plaster
decorative crown mouldings.

You've been hearing Celine Dion jokes longer than anyone else.

You cringe when Bob Cole pronounces French hockey player names.

You actually get Bowser & Blue.

You were drinking cafe-au-lait before it was latte.

You order fries 'with sauce', not 'with gravy'.

Shopper's Drug Mart is Pharmaprix, Staples is Bureau en Gros, and PFK is finger lickin' good.

You really believe Just For Laughs is an international festival.

For two weeks a year, you are a jazz aficionado.

You need to be reminded by prominent signage that you should wait for the green light.

Everyone on the street - drivers, pedestrians, and cyclists - think
they're immortal, and that you'll move first.

You know that Rocket Richard had nothing to do with astrophysics.

You've seen Brother Andre's heart.

No matter how bilingual you are, you still don't understand "ile aux
tourtes."

You know perhaps the hard way the difference between the SAQ and the SAAQ.

You measure temperature and distance in metric, but weight and height in Imperial measure.

April Wine, Sass Jordan or Gowan once played your high school.

You know that Montreal is responsible for introducing the following to North America: bagels, souvlaki, smoked meat and Supertramp. Also, Chris de Burgh.

You don't drink pop or soda, you drink soft drinks.

You've graduated from high school, have a University degree, but still don't understand what grade 12 is for.

The margarine in your fridge is the same color as lard.

Every once in a while, you wonder whatever happened to Luba.

You secretly thought that Corey Hart was cool, and knew someone who dated him.

There has to be at least 30cm of snow on the ground in less than 24 hours for you to consider it too snowy to drive.

You remember where you were during the Ice Storm.

You used to be an Expos fan, but now all you really miss is Youppi.

You're a Habs fan; always was, always will be...

You know that your city's reputation for beautiful women is largely based on mports.

You don't understand anyone from Lac-St-Jean, but you can fake the accent.

You've been to the Tam Tams, and know they have nothing to do with wee Scottish hats.

You discuss potholes like most people discuss pubs, you know which ones to avoid.

While watching an American made-for-TV movies, you realize that Siberia is actually Lake St. Louis frozen at dawn, "Vienna" is Old Montreal and remote parts of Westmount, "New York" is actually the Museum of Fine Arts, and "The Futuristic City" is actually Habitat '67 mixed with obscure parts of "LaRonde".

You find it amusing when people from outside Quebec compliment you on how good your English is.

You don't find American comedians speaking "gibberish" French even
remotely funny.

You don't find it weird that there's a strip club on every corner
downtown.

You like your pizza all-dressed.

Cosmos for breakfast on Sundays!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[The_Saint]

too true..

[chip7]

that's us baby !!!!!

[MatR1]

comique

[dikie]

hahahaa i like this one You don't find it weird that there's a strip club on every corner
downtown.

[temporel]

I'm glad you mentionned Luba.
I'm gonna download her last album!