EULA

[RdKetchup]

(End User Licence Agreement, les contrats d'utilisation attachés habituellement à l'achat de software).

Voici un contre-EULA qui devrait être utilisé lors du paiement pour du software...


Disclaimer to be used when purchasing software:

This check is fully warranted against physical defects and poor
workmanship in its stationery. If the check is physically damaged,
return it to me and I will replace or repair it at my discretion. No
other warranty of any kind is made, neither express nor implied
including, but not limited to, the implied warranties of Merchantability,
Suitability for Purpose, and Validity of Currency. Any and all risk
concerning the actual value of this check is assumed by you, the
recipient. Even though I or my agents may have assured you of its
worth, either verbally or in written communication, we may have had our
fingers crossed, so don't come whimpering back to me if it bounces.

The money, if any, represented by this instrument remains my property.
You are licensed to use it, however you are not allowed to copy the
original check except for your personal records, nor are you permitted
to give the money itself to anyone else. Neither may you allow any
other person to use the money. Remember, you may have it in your
possession, but it still belongs to me, and I'm going to call on you
from time to time just to keep tabs on it.

This agreement supersedes all others between us, including the equally
ridiculous one you have undoubtedly pasted on the back of your
packaging, or concealed somewhere in the middle of it. The location of
your version of this or any other covenant between us is irrelevant to
its inapplicability here. Only this one pertains, and I really mean
it. In fact, this one supersedes yours even though yours may say that
it supersedes mine. Why, even if yours said it would supersede mine
even if mine said it would supersede yours even if yours said... Oh
well. You get the idea.

You may decline this agreement by returning the uncashed check to me
within twenty-four hours. If you attempt to cash it, however, you have
implicitly accepted these terms. You may also implicitly accept these
terms by:

1) Calling my bank to inquire about the status of my account;

2) Thanking me at the conclusion of our business transaction;

3) Going to bed at the end of this or any other day; or

4) Using any toilet or rest room.

Please be advised that I have adopted a strict rubber-glue policy. Any
nasty thing that your lawyers say bounces off of me and sticks back to
you. Be further advised that you agree to pay my legal expenses if I
decide to sue you for violating this agreement or for any other reason
that might strike my fancy. Violations will be punishable by fine,
imprisonment, death, any two of the above, or all three.

Thank you and have a nice day!

[chip7]

Ça ressemble pas ma à ça!!