problemes et solutions

WoodRider · 05/03/2007, 11h15

A very funny pilot gripe sheet

Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Indeed!

Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers.

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

(P = The problem logged by the pilot.) (S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.)

P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.

S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in c0ckpit.

S: Something tightened in c0ckpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.

S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.

S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.

S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in c0ckpit.

S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from midget

RaCeSeB · 05/03/2007, 12h45

!

Pas rassurant, mais drôle quand même !!!

cyrax · 05/03/2007, 14h01

lol c fake lol !!

pistolio · 05/03/2007, 14h39

Kendrick · 05/03/2007, 14h43

hehehe pissant.

Babygirl · 05/03/2007, 16h44

TOO much!! Very original solutions...

WoodRider · 05/03/2007, 16h53

Ca c' est mes 3 preferees:

P: Something loose in c0ckpit.

S: Something tightened in c0ckpit.

P: Number 3 engine missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Mouse in c0ckpit.

S: Cat installed.

thunder_gt · 09/03/2007, 13h41

ca ressemble aux reponsse que je donne en blague a mes aviseur technique quand il m`ecrive une pleinte de client qui na pas d`allure!! :P

Aramis · 10/03/2007, 00h21

Merci Phil, j'ai bien aimé!!

WoodRider · 10/03/2007, 00h26

Citation:

Envoyé par thunder_gt

ca ressemble aux reponsse que je donne en blague a mes aviseur technique quand il m`ecrive une pleinte de client qui na pas d`allure!! :P

Je vais sur le forum de discussion des techniciens de GM. Ya un topic de 10 pages rien des " funny write-up and tech response. Pissant :P

05/03/2007, 11h15	#1 (permalink)
WoodRider World speed record Date d'inscription: septembre 2003 Localisation: Bois-des-Filion Messages: 2 962 Pouvoir de réputation: 9 Reputation: 58 Moto: VFR 750F	problemes et solutions A very funny pilot gripe sheet Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Indeed! Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident. (P = The problem logged by the pilot.) (S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.) P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre. P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. P: Something loose in c0ckpit. S: Something tightened in c0ckpit. P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on back-order. P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level. P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what they're there for. P: IFF inoperative. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect you're right. P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. P: Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. P: Mouse in c0ckpit. S: Cat installed. P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. S: Took hammer away from midget __________________ Il est plus aiser de tordre une poignée que de détordre un cadre Jean Manchzeck

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05/03/2007, 12h45	#2 (permalink)
RaCeSeB World champion Date d'inscription: juin 2006 Localisation: pu à Ottawa en tout cas Messages: 579 Pouvoir de réputation: 0 Reputation: 10 Moto: Katana 750 2005	! Pas rassurant, mais drôle quand même !!!

05/03/2007, 14h01	#3 (permalink)
cyrax World speed record Date d'inscription: août 2006 Localisation: Laval Messages: 2 168 Pouvoir de réputation: 0 Reputation: 10 Moto: Gsx-R 600 '98	lol c fake lol !!

05/03/2007, 14h39	#4 (permalink)
pistolio 12 O'clock Date d'inscription: juillet 2004 Messages: 11 769 Pouvoir de réputation: 19 Reputation: 662 Moto: Jaune

05/03/2007, 14h43	#5 (permalink)
Kendrick Stunter Date d'inscription: mai 2006 Localisation: Ottawa Messages: 368 Pouvoir de réputation: 4 Reputation: 46 Moto: Yamaha R1 1999	hehehe pissant.

05/03/2007, 16h44	#6 (permalink)
Babygirl World champion Date d'inscription: mai 2003 Localisation: St-Zotique Messages: 967 Pouvoir de réputation: 7 Reputation: 17 Moto: Plus rien....pour l'instant!	TOO much!! Very original solutions...

05/03/2007, 16h53	#7 (permalink)
WoodRider World speed record Date d'inscription: septembre 2003 Localisation: Bois-des-Filion Messages: 2 962 Pouvoir de réputation: 9 Reputation: 58 Moto: VFR 750F	Ca c' est mes 3 preferees: P: Something loose in c0ckpit. S: Something tightened in c0ckpit. P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. P: Mouse in c0ckpit. S: Cat installed.

09/03/2007, 13h41	#8 (permalink)
thunder_gt World champion Date d'inscription: juin 2006 Localisation: valleyfield Messages: 1 850 Pouvoir de réputation: 5 Reputation: 40 Moto: buell xb12x ulysses 2006	ca ressemble aux reponsse que je donne en blague a mes aviseur technique quand il m`ecrive une pleinte de client qui na pas d`allure!! :P

10/03/2007, 00h21	#9 (permalink)
Aramis Contributeur Date d'inscription: juillet 2004 Localisation: Rive nord de MTL Messages: 2 785 Pouvoir de réputation: 8 Reputation: 281	Merci Phil, j'ai bien aimé!!